The Hands of Time
by Abberz the Awesome
Summary: "Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, love is stronger than death." Angsty McGee/Ziva. Death.


**A/N: New Story! Not really, LOL! I wrote this about eight months ago and finally got around to typing it today! Angsty Deathfic Mcgee/Ziva! This story has a unique format so pay attention to the next few lines:**

Regular font= McGee POV

_Italics font= Ziva POV_

**Each set of POVs makes a new day. So every time McGee "speaks", a new day has started. So, at the end of this fic, a week has passed.**

The Hands of Time

They say time heals all wounds, but I've known that's a load of bullshit from the moment I lost you. There is no way to forget you. Every time I see a picture or memory, you come back to me and I feel beat up inside; sliced into two with my heart torn out.

I miss you.

Your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor. I even miss you leaving your stupid dirty laundry on the floor.

And there's your heart. That is the thing I miss about you the most. You put up with all of me, even my grumpiness and angriness, and you still loved me.

I should have asked you to marry me. Too late now.

_I see you from up here. I see your anger, your regret. I am sorry. For everything._

_I really did want to marry you. To be your wife would have been an honor. You are a good man, and to see you everyday would have met everything to you._

_I fell in love so, so hard. I just ask one thing of you. Move on from me._

_Be happy._

Today, I cried…

For you, for myself, for us. For what didn't happen, for what could've happened, for what should've happened.

I wail and scream, looking out the window at the rain. You loved rain. Our first kiss was in the rain. You said rain cleanses the earth and the sun.

My soul needs cleansing right now.

_I heard you cry today. I feel guilty._

_Why did God choose to separate us? And then make me watch this daily? Can this cruelty be part of His great plan?_

_Your bawling reached up to me, piercing the air like a train whistle, constant and mocking. It tells me how much pain I caused, how much I hurt you._

_Once the crying subsides, there is silence. You must be thinking. Thinking is not good._

_You are supposed to move on._

I stopped thinking about you today. It made me feel guilty.

You cannot be forgotten. Your memory must live on, and if I must be one execute your will after your death, then so be it.

Those five minutes was blissful and free. So why does it feel so wrong?

_Again, I watch. I hear. I see. I even smell._

_But I cannot taste your lips on mine, or feel your hands on mine. I still love you and my heart aches for you, but I cannot have you. It hurts so much to see you so alone without me._

_Alone is such a strange word to think of with you. We were always together, a unity. It was not you or me, it was always us together. So happy together, so happy to be in loves together. So happy together, so happy to be in love._

_You should dance and sing. Go outside in the rain, cleanse your soul. Throw your arms to the heavens, to me, and scream for joy. Remember the good times. Laugh. Let loose._

_Be yourself._

_Fall in love again._

I take out a bottle of liquor. It burns my throat and causes pain, dulling the pain your loss has caused. It takes my mind off you, making me drift into a state of blissful obliviation. I put the bottle down and think of what I've become—a drunken lost lover trying to hopelessly expel the ghosts of my past. I never drank when you were alive, never more than one drink at a time. I liked to think clearly, to be responsible.

I pick up a new bottle, downing it in one breath. In a short fit on rage, I throw it at the wall and cackle with glee at the adrenaline rush throwing it gave me.

I finally broke the rules.

_I watched you in your drunken rage today, downing bottles and chucking them around our house. Sorry, your house now. You didn't care about the havoc you caused._

_That house was your pride and joy. You bought it as a mess, than changed it into something beautiful. We worked on that house for months. Every project seemed monumental, but slowly we tackled them, getting a finished project._

_When we started the house we were just friends. I needed help, and you volunteered. Hours daily were spent together. It was inevitable we fell in love._

I put my house up for sale today. It was too hard living there, seeing all our memories. Every table, every window reminded me of you. Of us renovating. All the blood, sweat and tears that went into that structure. The laughter that was always there. The stolen kisses and moonlit walks in the backyard. I want to forget it all and move on, but then I feel like I'm betraying you.

I don't want to do that. I can never forget you. Ever.

_I saw you prop up that For Sale sign and immediately felt guilty. That house is your most prized possession, and I have caused you to get rid of it._

_You cannot run away from my memory. That will do nothing to help us. You must embrace my death and find a way to cope._

_Death is such a complex thing. Heaven is… heavenly, but not complete. It is lacking people I know. You are not there. The team is not there. I did meet a certain brunette and redhead that you know. They say they miss you very much, though not nearly as much as I._

_I have a lot of time to sit and wonder: If you fall in love and then die, who will you spend eternity with, her or I? But do not dwell on my questions, for when you are happy, I am as well._

Today, I saw a bathtub and almost went into hysterics. I was remembering a time when we were renovating the bathroom in the house, right before we got together. You slipped and fell, right on top of me, and we stumbled into the tub. You were so small in my arms, and we locked eyes. I pushed the hair away from your face and smiled. You were so beautiful. We kissed.

That night, we went out for dinner and kissed again. And again. And soon we were back at the house and clothes were being thrown around the room. We made love that night, slow and passionate. We were so in love that night.

_I sobbed when I saw you break down in from of that bathtub. You must have been remembering the time when we literally fell in love. Your arms were so safe and secure._

_I thought you could protect me from anything. Even though I can certainly take care of myself, there was something about you that made me feel at home. And that was beautiful._

_And now you are out of reach._

_Always. _

_So I cry and you cry silently in the street, staring at the store display window in front of you. The city's bustle moves around you, and you are stationary. Empty._

After a week, I have run out of alcohol. Funny, how a drunk driver took you from me, yet alcohol is my vice. Though I never drive intoxicated. Causing someone else the pain that your loss has caused me is unfathomable cruel.

I step onto the street to go pick up some cheap beer from the corner store across from my house.

The bus hits me.

I see your face, and then I see nothing.

_I gasp as I see you get hit. Then I turn around and you are there, panicked and confused. I reach out and squeeze your hand, reminding you that I am there and that this is real. You smile and I smile. Soulmates, together at last._

_I guess with a little bit of times, our wounds were healed. The world still turns below us, and lives are renewed and healed._

_We kiss._

_Ziva and Tim kiss._

RIP

Ziva David and Timothy McGee

12 November 1982- 7 February 2011 and 17 October 1978-14 February 2011

"Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, love is stronger than death."

**Reviews make the world go round. And yes, Tim McGee does die on Valentine's Day. I'm that cruel. By the way, my last McGee/Ziva story got NO reviews, so check that one out too?**


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